Rational thinking.

Rational (adj.)
1. a. having reason or understanding
b. relating to, based on, or agreeable to reason: reasonable (a rational explanation) (rational behaviour)
(Merriam-Webster)

It’s so difficult for an emotional and impulsive person to be rational. Because by the time I am rational, I’ve usually already acted out of spite or defiance or anger. I always thought that I would get “better” as I grew older, but as I hit 30, I discovered that this is not the case at all.

Still, now that I am nearing my mid-30s, I’ve come to discover that there are times when I can be rational. Well, more rational than before. Not nearly as rational as I should be, or as my boss is. Pfft.

In reality, it’s because I have more responsibilities in life, and those are always in the back of my head, and so all (or at least, most) actions are coloured by those responsibilities. Like when I get really upset with my job, I go for a smoke instead of quitting immediately. Not that smoking is any better, but well. At least I still have a job right now hahaha.

Thinking about what has happened in the past 30 hours, it’s funny how I can rationalise what has happened, and kinda make myself feel better about it all. I suppose the fact that I know it’s not time for me to leave yet helps. But at the same time, I know that time is coming.

Can’t bloody wait.

Work-life balance?

This past week, I’ve played mahjong and watched The Dark Knight Rises twice. I also managed to rewatch Batman Begins one night at home… which means my complaining about negative work life balance (ie. less than zero) is not entirely true.

I must learn to judge my schedule better. Although I suppose, watching movies is a spontaneous thing that happens as I have time, whereas trying to meet up with a friend who’s been in HK for six weeks and is leaving in a few days, has to be something that is scheduled. Because otherwise he has other prior commitments. And I can’t schedule anything that is unrelated to work. Because my work has no schedule. Hahahaha.

Anyway. Yeah. I’m still at work.

Happy birthday, Lois.

Today is Lois’ birthday. She used to be a dj at a local radio station in Hong Kong. Actually, most people in Hong Kong would know her voice. It’s always on TV, for commercials and ads. She’s got a wonderfully beautiful speaking voice.

I haven’t seen Lois since… maybe 1999. Or 2000. I hope she is doing wonderfully.

(Postscript – in my quest to find accurate lyrics for her song, “Thinking of You”, I found that someone had uploaded one of her radio programs (part one embedded below). Listening to it brought back all those memories of my life in high school… Wow.)

The Dark Knight Rises.

I have no words = the only thing I could think at half past midnight when it was over.

So there was laughter, and there were tears. There was awe, and there was sadness, and there was joy. And then it was over. My friends left as I sat through the credits – it’s a habit, sitting through the credits, looking through the lists of people, seeing familiar names pop up here and there. I miss making movies.

And then I was mulling it over as I made my way down through the mall, passed the box office, and bumped into other friends who were going into the post-midnight viewing. And I thought to myself, I really need to see this film again.

So I did. I watched it twice, on IMAX, in one night. I think I could watch it again some time soon.

Chris Nolan + Christian Bale = dream team. Yeah.