1st July, 2017.

Old people often say that time passes by like the blink of an eye. I must have somehow turned into an old person, because twenty years just… flew by. I don’t remember where I was twenty years ago today. I do remember watching the ceremony on TV. The one where Chris Patten and his family left Hong Kong in the pouring rain. I remember the uncertainty in my heart – I wasn’t a full-fledged HKer yet (and it turns out I missed the boat on that one – should’ve gotten a Hong Kong passport, or at least that damned return home card before ’97) – the uncertainty that would highlight our future.

It’s strange that now looking back, I don’t think much of the change actually happened until about 3 or 4 years ago (although by 2003, I already couldn’t get that damned return home card) – that could well be my own ignorance though. I don’t know. There are pros and cons to living in every single city in the world, so I chose to see the pros. I am still trying to choose to see the pros – Hong Kong is still a fucking awesome city. But in addition to the inability to ever purchase your own flat or house, the ever-increasing wealth gap, the ridiculous stagnation of income despite inflation year after year, it’s also the fear of Tiananmen, the fear of a non-transparent justice system, the fear of eroding freedoms, the fear of an all out communist dictatorship that’s boiling over into this political turmoil that is Hong Kong right now.

It’s so weird to look at this place that I call home and wonder about the future. It’s not the first time there has been civil unrest in Hong Kong. It happened in the 60s when people rioted against British colonial rule…. Hong Kong people seem to have forgotten that colonial rule wasn’t always great. But I suppose that’s because we had some really good governors right before the end… Sigh. I don’t know. What will the next twenty years bring?

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16:38

Really hate it when you’ve been looking forward to something so much, and then when you open your eyes, you realise that the sun is lower than it should be and you reach over to pick up your phone to look at the time, and it’s 38 minutes past the beginning of service.

Sigh.

And then then you think, well, by the time you dressed and head out and arrive, it’ll be at least 17:15.

Which is an hour and fifteen minutes after the beginning of service and about twenty minutes from the end.

Sigh.

And in case you were wondering, I slept through four alarms. Yup.

Sigh.

Headache

I’ve had a headache for three days already. It ranges from being annoying to humungously headsplitting… but I can deal with annoying, although it is annoying. I think the reason for the headache is the lack of caffeine (going from drinking 4-5 cups of a tea a day to zero) but I’ve been reading up on caffeine withdrawal and it’s only supposed to last a couple of days but it doesn’t seem like it’s going away… RAH. I suppose I’ll give it a few more days. Not like I have a choice anyway. And no one can tell, unless I tell them. And anyway, there’s always Advil. Although I only took one on the first day and none since… Hmmm.

Dust dust everywhere

Drilling schmilling. Drilling through the wall to get to the pipes that have burst, that is causing all that water to run down to ground level. Dust everywhere. Taking cold showers is nothing compared to not having a place to shower *sigh* I have a gym membership (ie. I could potentially shower at the gym) but considering the fact that I get off work at 3am usually, that’s not very helpful.

Thank God I have an amazing sister who doesn’t sleep too early. And a wonderful boss who will let me go home before he does so that he doesn’t have a smelly employee at work hahaha…

Can’t wait until this thing is bloody fixed…

Scaffolding schmaffolding

Ah FML. So I’ve been taking cold showers since my Beijing trip because there was water spraying out of the pipe coming out of the wall going up to the hot water boiler. And then I was told that the water dripping down to street level was coming from the pipe of my flat. Which means I’m screwed for water bill next month *sigh* God help me.

So anyway. I now have scaffolding outside my house *sigh* Bah.

Improvement work in progress.

Grace (n.) – favour or goodwill / a manifestation of favour, especially by a superior / mercy; clemency; pardon

This morning I lost it at a cab driver, who didn’t know how to work the meter machine and instead of printing me a receipt, he managed to reset the damn machine and hence my hopes to claim back the amount of money from my employers went down the drain.

I was cold, bitchy and extremely unforgiving.

And as I climbed up the stairs to get to the office, it occurred to me that I had zero grace. Zero. Which is not on, not from someone like me, who depends on grace to get through the day, every day. And not even grace from God, which is ever abounding, but the amount of grace my boss shows me is quite incomprehensible sometimes. Like this morning when he called me at 11:53 and woke me up. I was supposed to be at the studio by noon. Yeah.

So as I climbed up the stairs to get to the office, these thoughts were going round and round in my head…

And I, once again, realised how much I suck at this thing called life. Bah.

Story of my life.