So there I was thinking that we’d definitely finish below Everton (we might still do that) because we’re probably going to lose to Chelsea again (having just done so on Sunday) and also Swansea (because we always lose to teams like them), and then we go and win 4:1 and there is that glimmer of hope that we won’t finish below them.

So now I need Newcastle to beat Everton. And I need Liverpool to bloody beat Swansea. Please. PLEASE.